Is there some kind of point here?

I think God put me here to love. Something I haven't been partaking in at all as of late. So I have to ask if I have been living or existing. Hell, I'll just play it off like everthing's cool in the remote case that someone asks. Have I been this way all along? I'm not really sure, I always thought of myself as friendly, but now I'm beginning to doubt it. Times where it would be so easy to outstretch a hand, I withdraw, relying on my shaky judgement of the situation. Sometimes I wonder whether or not I'm scared, but then I realize that the only thing in this life that I am truly afraid of, is that which I perpetuate.

I cringe all too often at my mistakes of the past. Rather than learn the lesson, I go straight to the test, making sure I pass, but not knowing why. Why is there regret in my heart? I haven't screwed it all up that bad have I? No, I haven't. I'm just pissed that I have to resort to philosophical crap just to have something to write about! Ha!

I'm starting to think that maybe I ain't as good at reading people as I once thought. This above all includes myself. I over and underestimate contstantly, even now as I think. Much of my family seems to be cut from the same cloth as me. I value people and ideas above all else, but people value and worship objects, which I put little or no stock in. This means that someday soon I'll be forced to abandon these ideals, in order to acheive monetary notariety, and have those same people value me as well. So I'll be alone in my outlook for now, the only one who can truly see that we are all we've got, or maybe truly blind to the fact that I am all that I have.